കുട്ടിയുടെ കോൺടാക്റ്റ് ആഗ്രഹങ്ങൾ: കോടതിയിൽ നിങ്ങളുടെ കുട്ടിക്ക് എപ്പോഴാണ് അഭിപ്രായം പറയാനുള്ളത്?

A child’s wishes on contact (omgang) never decide the case on their own, but they carry real weight. From the age of twelve the court must give the child the opportunity to give its views (Article 809 of the Dutch Code of Civil Procedure, Rv), and serious objections that a child of twelve or older raises at that hearing are a statutory ground to deny contact (Article 1:377a(3)(c) of the Dutch Civil Code, BW).

Younger children can be heard too, at the court’s discretion. In every case the court weighs the wish against the child’s age, maturity, loyalty conflicts and possible influence by a parent. This article explains how the court finds out what the child really wants, and what you can do as a parent when your child resists contact.

What is the legal starting point for contact?

Under Article 1:377a(1) BW a child has the right to contact with both parents and with anyone with whom it has a close personal relationship. The parent without parental authority has both the right and the duty to have contact.

The court sets a contact arrangement at the request of a parent, or denies contact, under Article 1:377a(2) BW. Where both parents have joint authority, disputes about the care arrangement go to the court under Article 1:253a BW. In both cases the court decides in the കുട്ടിയുടെ മികച്ച താൽപ്പര്യങ്ങൾ.

The court may deny contact only on the four grounds of Article 1:377a(3) BW: serious harm to the child’s mental or physical development; the parent is clearly unfit or unable to have contact; a child of twelve or older has expressed serious objections at its hearing; or contact otherwise conflicts with weighty interests of the child.

The Supreme Court (Hoge Raad) held on 17 January 2014 (ECLI:NL:HR:2014:91) that the objection of the parent the child lives with is not enough on its own. Before denying contact, the court must itself do everything reasonably possible to bring contact about, for example through mediation, an investigation by the Child Protection Board or a provisional arrangement.

കുട്ടിയുടെ അഭിപ്രായം എത്ര വയസ്സുമുതൽ കണക്കിലെടുക്കും?

There is no minimum age for being heard, but the rules differ above and below twelve. The weight of the opinion grows with age and maturity.

Children under twelve

Under Article 809(1) Rv the court may give a child under twelve the opportunity to give its views in a way the court decides, for example in a conversation with the judge or through an expert. The court is not obliged to do so and decides case by case whether it helps or puts the child under pressure.

For very young children the court looks mainly at the bond with each parent and how the child reacts to contact. From primary school age children can often express their feelings, but the court checks closely whether the child speaks for itself or repeats a parent. Loyalty conflicts are common at this age.

Children of twelve and older

Under Article 809(1) Rv the court may not decide before it has given a child of twelve or older the opportunity to give its views, unless the matter is clearly of minor importance. The child does not have to use that opportunity.

Serious objections raised at that hearing are a separate ground to deny contact under Article 1:377a(3)(c) BW. In practice judges are reluctant to impose contact on an older teenager who clearly refuses it. Even then the court examines whether the objection is the child’s own or the result of influence or a temporary emotion.

How does the court find out what the child wants?

The court has four main instruments: a conversation with the child, an investigation by the Child Protection Board, an expert examination and a special guardian. It chooses the instrument that fits the age of the child and the level of conflict.

Conversation with the judge

Children are usually invited by letter for a short conversation (kindgesprek) with the judge, without the parents present. The judge explores the child’s feelings and wishes; the conversation is not an interrogation, and the judge summarises its main points at the hearing.

ചൈൽഡ് പ്രൊട്ടക്ഷൻ ബോർഡ്

Under Article 810 Rv the court can ask the Child Protection Board (Raad voor de Kinderbescherming) for advice. The Board talks to the child, the parents and often the school or GP. The court is not bound by the advice, but if it departs from it, it must give clear reasons.

വിദഗ്ദ്ധ പരിശോധന

In complex cases the court can appoint an expert, such as a child psychologist or educationalist. Under Article 810a(1) Rv a parent who asks for it must be given the opportunity to submit a report by an expert not appointed by the court, if that report may influence the decision and the child’s interest does not oppose it.

On 4 November 2025 the Arnhem-Leeuwarden Court of Appeal (ECLI:NL:GHARL:2025:7041) gave a mother substitute consent under Article 1:253a BW for an independent child psychologist to examine two children who had refused contact with her since 2021. The court pointed to a loyalty conflict and to the state’s duty under Article 8 ECHR to support family life.

പ്രത്യേക രക്ഷാധികാരി

Under Article 1:250 BW the court can appoint a special guardian (bijzondere curator) if the interests of a parent conflict with those of the child. The guardian is independent, speaks with the child and both parents and reports to the court.

On 19 December 2025 the Zeeland-West-Brabant District Court (ECLI:NL:RBZWB:2025:9312) appointed a special guardian to investigate the real wishes of a girl born in 2015, who was under a supervision order, and where her resistance to contact with her father came from.

Can a child refuse contact?

Not simply. The law assumes that contact with both parents serves the child, unless one of the grounds of Article 1:377a(3) BW applies. We discuss those grounds in our article on കുട്ടികളുമായുള്ള സമ്പർക്ക ക്രമീകരണങ്ങൾ നിയന്ത്രിക്കാൻ കഴിയുമ്പോൾ.

A child who repeatedly and concretely says that contact is harmful cannot be ignored. Typical reasons that can justify limiting contact are domestic violence, abuse or serious neglect by the parent. If an investigation shows the refusal is authentic, the court can order supervised contact, reduce the frequency or suspend contact for a period. A full denial of contact remains rare.

How does the court assess parental influence?

The court usually relies on a Board investigation, an expert examination or a special guardian. It looks for signs such as a loyalty conflict, a sudden or extreme aversion to a parent without clear cause, inconsistencies in the child’s account and the behaviour of both parents.

On 21 July 2025 the Zeeland-West-Brabant District Court (ECLI:NL:RBZWB:2025:5492) found a child in a serious loyalty conflict and ordered a Child Protection Board investigation before deciding on a change of residence and contact. If the court finds that the child is being steered, it can act firmly: in extreme cases it can change the child’s main residence or the juvenile court can impose a supervision order. See our article on when a high-conflict divorce becomes a matter for the children’s court.

Can a child ask the court for contact itself?

A minor cannot file a petition in its own name, but it can write to the court. Under Article 1:377g BW the court can then decide on contact of its own motion, or change an existing decision, if a child of twelve or older wants this. The same applies to a younger child who is able to reasonably assess its own interests.

This route works in practice. On 21 November 2025 the Gelderland District Court (ECLI:NL:RBGEL:2025:10080) acted on an informal request from a ten-year-old boy who wanted a change in his care arrangement, and appointed a special guardian to find out what he really wanted.

Can you see the Child Protection Board’s report?

Yes, in principle. Under Article 811(1) Rv the parents, guardians, carers and a child of twelve or older (unless it cannot reasonably assess its interests) have a right to inspect and copy reports submitted by the Board or by a court-appointed expert.

The court can limit that right, for example to protect someone’s privacy or to prevent disproportionate harm to third parties. You can challenge the content of the report during the proceedings with substantiated objections, or by asking for further investigation or a second-opinion report.

What are the deadlines for an appeal?

You can appeal a decision on contact to the court of appeal within three months after the day of the decision, under Article 806(1)(a) Rv. After an appeal, cassation to the Supreme Court is possible on points of law only.

If circumstances change later, for example because the child has grown older or its wishes have changed, either parent can ask the court to change the contact decision under Article 1:377e BW.

കുട്ടി താമസിക്കുന്ന രക്ഷിതാവ് എന്ന നിലയിൽ നിങ്ങൾ എന്തൊക്കെ പരിശോധിക്കണം?

• Check whether your objection to contact fits one of the four grounds of Article 1:377a(3) BW; your own objection alone is not enough.
• Record concrete incidents and reports from the GP, school or youth care, not only what the child tells you.
• Avoid asking your child to choose between parents; a court will see that as influence.
• Check whether a conversation with the judge, a Board investigation or a special guardian fits your child’s age.
• Consider proposing supervised or gradual contact instead of no contact.

What should you check as the parent who wants (more) contact?

• Ask the court in time to set or enforce a contact arrangement under Article 1:377a(2) BW.
• Document signs of influence: sudden aversion, inconsistent statements, missed handovers.
• Ask for a Board investigation, an expert examination or a special guardian, and use your right to submit your own expert report under Article 810a Rv.
• Read the Board’s report carefully and respond to it with substantiated objections.
• Diarise the three-month appeal deadline of Article 806 Rv after a decision.

What can we do for you when your child’s wishes on contact are at stake?

നമ്മുടെ കുടുംബ അഭിഭാഷകർ assist parents in contact proceedings before the district court and the court of appeal.

• We assess your position against the grounds of Article 1:377a(3) BW and the case law on influence.
• We draft the petition for a contact arrangement or for a change of an existing arrangement.
• We request a Board investigation, an expert examination or the appointment of a special guardian.
• We review the Board’s report and draft the response to it.
• We record agreements in a clear രക്ഷാകർതൃ പദ്ധതി.
• We lodge an appeal within the three-month deadline.

ചുരുക്കം

• The child’s wish is one factor in the best interests of the child; it is not decisive on its own.
• From twelve the court must offer the child a hearing (Article 809 Rv); younger children can be heard at the court’s discretion.
• Serious objections of a child of twelve or older at the hearing are a ground to deny contact (Article 1:377a(3)(c) BW).
• The court checks for influence and loyalty conflicts through the Board, experts or a special guardian.
• A child can ask the court informally to decide on contact (Article 1:377g BW).

പതിവു ചോദ്യങ്ങൾ